In one of the earlier articles you read in your preparation for My EQ the comment was made that self - awareness does not come from seminars or books. In the same way, new behaviors and skills do not always come from simply reading an article. Let's say for instance that one of your counterproductive behaviors is being a poor listener. Reading an article on Active Listening will not necessarily make you a good listener. More may be needed to turn this knowledge on Active Listening into a skill which becomes part of your repertoire of behaviors that you have at your disposal to deal with situations.
This is where the EQ Workout comes in. It is the most intense of all of the 6 Development Activities. Think of it as a gym workout for developing more emotionally intelligent behavior.
The EQ Workout should always be used in conjunction with one of your Recommended Readings. It consists of an interactive Excel spreadsheet, called the Expert Tutor that challenges you to find practical ways to implement your "learnings" from the Recommended Readings, practice them, and find ways to do them better and better.
In the Expert Tutor, you will first be prompted to type in the topic you have covered in your Recommended Readings:
What is the topic you have read up on?
Next you will be asked:
What have you learned from your reading/s?
This step is important because it will help you to internalise the key "learnings" from the reading. Remember we spoke earlier about creating new mental maps which can act as servo - mechanisms to guide new behavior. Summarising your key "learnings" will go a lot further to embed the information from your reading/s than simply just reading the article.
Information is initially stored as electrical impulses in the brain which "die off" after a short period of time. It needs to be transformed into chemical storage in the brain for it to "stick" or become long term. This occurs through repetition. By reflecting on the article she has read about Delegation for instance, and then putting the key learning points down in her own words, Alison has a much better chance of not only storing the information in her long term memory, but also of making it her own and ensuring that she has insight into what she has learned.
You will then be prompted with:
Where can I apply this information?
This is a critical step in transforming information into applied knowledge or a skill. At the end of the day, if your behavior does not change, you will not have grown. In Alison's case, knowing about delegation and "doing" delegation are two completely different things. Only "doing" will affect the outcomes in her working environment.
This step as well as the next one are going to stretch you. It is not going to be easy initially to answer these questions. However, that is precisely the point of the questions - to stretch you and take you out of your comfort zone.
Before going further, please read this great article on comfort zones and leadership. Click here
Identifying the situation/s where you can apply your "learning" will greatly increase the likelihood of your implementing them. This is based on the well established principle of SMART Goals. Before going further please click here and read the article that will open up in a new window.
Your next prompt in the EQ Workout is:
Formulate the action steps that you are going to take to apply your learnings.
This may be even more challenging than the previous question. However, as you have learned this is exactly what we want. To tip you out of your comfort zone into your learning zone.
As George Ambler says:
If you’ve ever pushed yourself to get to the next level in sport, fitness or by learning a new skill you know what it’s like to step outside your comfort zone. You know what it’s like in the learning zone. It’s like going to gym for the first time. The exercises are difficult and you struggle. They take a lot of energy and concentration to complete. However, each week you grow stronger, the exercises become easier and they require less energy to complete.
You need to wrestle with exactly how you are going to apply what you have learned. You need to dig into yourself as a resource to figure it out. If you get stuck, try again. If you remain stuck ask for pointers from a colleague, your manager, a coach or a mentor. But get out of your comfort zone. You cannot be a leader and stay in your comfort zone. These are mutually exclusive concepts.
Once again, in formulating your action steps you should use some of the principles of SMART goal setting - be specific, make sure what you plan is actionable, link it to a time frame.
Once you have formulated your action steps it's time to implement them. The EQ Workout does not end there though. At the end of the time period you have set for implementing your actions steps, you should complete the Review.
The Review begins with this question:
What knowledge and action steps did you apply?
This question is designed to keep you accountable to yourself and on track. You will probably find numerous distractions and obstacles that compete with your intention to implement your action steps. Not least of these is your old behavior. Let's say for example that your profile shows you to be a highly dominant person. Chances are that your natural will be to talk and persuade (old behavior), rather than listen (new behavior). These behaviors are in competition with each other.
Here is a good analogy. Sign your name with your right hand (and vice versa if you are left - handed). This is old behavior - well practiced and comes naturally. Now sign your name with your other hand. It's hard and feels awkward. Now imagine being asked to write all day with your weak hand (new behavior). You will undoubtedly be sorely tempted to rather use your strong hand (old behavior). This temptation will remain until you become competent in writing with your weak hand. You need to "hang in" long enough out of your comfort zone and in your learning zone until you achieve a level of mastery concerning the new behavior or skill that you are developing.
If you are unable to answer this question it tells you that you are off course and need to make an adjustment and try again. Keeping track of the knowledge and action steps you have applied will take you into a metacognition zone, i.e. stepping away and looking back on your own behavior and consciously choosing the new behavior.
Does this take effort and personal investment? Of course it does - there is a price for change. So does getting fit and training for a race. This why we call it the EQ Workout. Have you considered though, that staying as you are also has a price. It's called opportunity cost - the price you pay for doing what you are doing now, rather than doing something different.
For instance, Alison is overly conscientious and micromanages. The opportunity cost is the fact that she could have used her time more productively on other more important matters (e.g. finding ways to improve efficiencies in her department). By learning not to micromanage she would also release the initiative and capabilities of her subordinates and allow them to grow. This would increase productivity, potentially reduce staff turnover, recruitment costs, absenteeism...
So the cost involved in real change seems apparently high because it involves substantial effort, but that is only because the cost of our counterproductive behaviors are not immediately apparent to us. Why not? Because doing what we do naturally feels easy and comfortable!
The next question in the EQ Workout is:
What did you learn or discover?
Specialists define learning as a process that will modify subsequent behavior. Learning can be either implicit or explicit. When it is implicit we learn "accidently". We are learning unintentionally and unconsciously. There is nothing wrong with this kind of learning, but we would argue that this kind of learning is not as effective as explicit learning in developing EQ. Learning with awareness means that we can explain how we acquired a skill or knowledge.
Remember that fundamentally emotional intelligence is all about awareness. While there are many theories and models of EQ, the golden thread running through all of them is awareness. Inasmuch as we need to be self - aware, we also need to learn with awareness. Although it may sound like stating the obvious, when we learn with awareness, we are more aware of what we are learning. When we are aware of what we are learning, we have more leverage to use what we have learned.
Think of implicit and explicit learning as a maze. When you are in the maze, you can learn a lot about the maze, but it is through trial and error and it is difficult to form a global, integrated picture of the maze. That represents implicit learning. However, if you were suspended above the maze and could look down on it where you can see it all at once, you will be in control of what you learn about the maze and will more easily be able to form an integrated picture of it. This is explicit learning in practice.
In asking yourself "What did I learn or discover?" you are stepping out of the "maze" or situation in which you implemented the action steps and elevate yourself to get a helicopter view of your experience. You will bring your learnings into awareness which will position you to use what you have learned intentionally (consciously) and intelligently. "Learnings" will not "fall through the cracks" into your subconscious where you are not aware of them, but will be consciously available to you to apply to different situations, enable you to learn from your "learnings" and identify what you need to do to improve.
This brings us to the last step in EQ Workout.
What can you do to improve?
In George Ambler's article on comfort zones he makes the point:
However, as the exercises become easier, you get less physical benefit. Soon you find yourself becoming used to your exercise routine, your heart rate no longer rises and you’re not sore in the mornings. When this happens you’re no longer growing stronger. You’re in a comfort zone. The solution? You need to change your exercise routine. You need to switch to a new set of exercises. The same principle holds for other areas in our lives.
While it is clear from the articles in your preparation on forming new habits that repetition is important, it is also important to learn from what we have done. If we don't learn and don't ask ourselves what we can do to improve, we will simply stay in the same place.
The final question in the EQ Workout therefore serves as a prep for the next round of implementing the things you have learned in your reading. Physical fitness does not come from one lap around the track, but many laps which the athlete slowly but progressively tries to do quicker and quicker. Developing new skills that will enhance your EQ follows the same process.
5 Laps
The Expert Tutor makes provision for 5 laps or practices of the EQ Workout per recommended reading. Try to do all 5 laps before moving on to the next recommended reading. The EQ Workout is all about transforming conscious competence into unconscious competence through practice and application.
Blank Expert Tutors can be found in the Downloads section of this website. You are welcome to make as many copies for your personal use. Remember though that they are protected by international copyright and intellectual properties laws. You are therefore prohibited from distributing them to a third party.
Please download the Sample Expert Tutor below. It will provide you with an illustration of how Alison used the Expert Tutor to improve her Delegation skills.
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Sample Expert Tutor.pdf Size : 193.329 Kb Type : pdf |